A Husband's Love

I was recently shown a picture of God's love in the most incredible way.

I haven't always felt easy to love. I tend to focus on my all my mistakes and failures, beating myself up constantly. This makes me feel unworthy and unlovable. I then back off and isolate myself from people, even those that are closest to me. I feel ashamed - and that I do not deserve to be loved. I push people away.

I ran from my husband before he asked me out. I was afraid of what would happen when he found out who I really was - that he would find out, and quickly tire of it, feeling that it just wasn't worth being with me. I had a great fear of being rejected. How could he love me, or want to be with me?

It blew my mind that he continued his pursuit of me. He was patient and waited for me like no one else ever had. He was gentle in his pursuit, backing off when he saw that I was freaking out. He backed off; but he he never went away. When I was ready, he awaited me with open arms. And guess what? He had already accepted me totally and completely, just the way that I am. Having known me for a while, he knew a lot about me - and he still loved me, and wanted to spend the rest of his life with me.

Then one day, I realized that I often feel the same way about God. God is perfect. Why would He want to pursue me, love me, or stay with me? I am just a human. A sinful, imperfect human, so small, and (seemingly) insignificant. I back away from Him and run from Him, just like I did my husband.

And yet, God pursues me, patiently, gently, not forcing Himself on me- but waiting in the background with open arms to embrace me and hold me. He knows everything about me - and yet He still accepts me fully and completely for who I am. What's more, He wants to spend eternity with me!

This is what God revealed to me today:

I am God's creation. Yes, I am a sinner. But God still made me. He loves me in a way that I do not deserve, and could certainly never earn. He loves me not only despite who I am, but because of who I am. He sent His Son to die in my place - He loves me that much. I am His child and no amount of time or distance will keep me from Him.

In the same way, my husband loves me despite me, and because of who I am. He loves me no matter what I do or what I say. He is always there with open arms, ready to forgive me. I don't deserve his love, any more than I deserve HIS love. And yet he willingly made the commitment to love me, and stay with me.

My husband loves me so much. I am daily reminded of this. Through his love for me, I am reminded constantly of God's love for me.