Bigger Than My Circumstances

"My God is so big, so strong and so mighty, there's nothing my God cannot do." 

The words to this simple little song came to my mind a bit ago as I was wrestling with many conflicting thoughts in my mind. And I was reminded that it really is that simple. God is big. God is mighty. Nothing is too big for Him. 

But it's not always that simple to us, is it? So many times we get caught up in our lives, moving from highs to lows, wondering where the next mountain peak is so that we can get out of the valley, and return to comfort and "good feelings." 

Valleys are not comfortable. My husband and I can attest to that. In our almost 4 and a half years of marriage, it feels like there have been more valleys than mountains. For myself, I had many times I wanted to just scream and run away, because I felt like I just couldn't take much more. I wanted to throw in the towel, to surrender so that the pain would go away. 

But God didn't take the pain away. And truthfully, I know deep down that it was better for me that way. Trials and pain make you grow and become fit. Comfort makes you flabby and indifferent. 

I wouldn't be the woman I am today if I had lived a comfortable, easy life. I needed those trials to trim away bad habits, sins that I didn't want to let go, and even "good" things that were not God's best for me. I have often needed redirection when I was headed a way that went against God's plan. And sometimes that required being allowed to go through trials that were, in reality, of my own creation. 

Money has been incredibly tight since right before Jude was born. There have been times that we wondered where a certain payment was coming from, or the money to go to the dr, or even food. I have often freaked out, asking the "why" question.  But the amazing thing is this - despite my distrust, despite my disobedience in the area of trust, GOD HAS ALWAYS PROVIDED. My family has never been without food (though the "manna" of beans is far from being our favorite meal), we have always had a roof over our head (even when there were people on our particular roof), and our car has always had gas in it (running on "E" at times much longer than it should have). We have had clothes provided in such an abundance that we had to give some of them away. People have given us fair passes, and taken us to movies or given us movie cards. In other words, God has provided what we needed - and BEYOND what we needed. He was bigger than our circumstances. 

What is it you need tonight? Physical provision? Protection? A relationship restored? Peace? To defeat a bad habit or addiction? Turn to God. Because He is bigger than any of your circumstances, bigger than anything that you struggle with. 

"The LORD is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer,

    my God, my rock in whom I take refuge,

    my shield, and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold. 

I call upon the LORD, who is worthy to be praised, 

    and I am save from my enemies."

  - Psalm 18:2 & 3

And if you don't know God as your personal Savior, ask me how! I would love to introduce you to my God! 

A Husband's Love

I was recently shown a picture of God's love in the most incredible way.

I haven't always felt easy to love. I tend to focus on my all my mistakes and failures, beating myself up constantly. This makes me feel unworthy and unlovable. I then back off and isolate myself from people, even those that are closest to me. I feel ashamed - and that I do not deserve to be loved. I push people away.

I ran from my husband before he asked me out. I was afraid of what would happen when he found out who I really was - that he would find out, and quickly tire of it, feeling that it just wasn't worth being with me. I had a great fear of being rejected. How could he love me, or want to be with me?

It blew my mind that he continued his pursuit of me. He was patient and waited for me like no one else ever had. He was gentle in his pursuit, backing off when he saw that I was freaking out. He backed off; but he he never went away. When I was ready, he awaited me with open arms. And guess what? He had already accepted me totally and completely, just the way that I am. Having known me for a while, he knew a lot about me - and he still loved me, and wanted to spend the rest of his life with me.

Then one day, I realized that I often feel the same way about God. God is perfect. Why would He want to pursue me, love me, or stay with me? I am just a human. A sinful, imperfect human, so small, and (seemingly) insignificant. I back away from Him and run from Him, just like I did my husband.

And yet, God pursues me, patiently, gently, not forcing Himself on me- but waiting in the background with open arms to embrace me and hold me. He knows everything about me - and yet He still accepts me fully and completely for who I am. What's more, He wants to spend eternity with me!

This is what God revealed to me today:

I am God's creation. Yes, I am a sinner. But God still made me. He loves me in a way that I do not deserve, and could certainly never earn. He loves me not only despite who I am, but because of who I am. He sent His Son to die in my place - He loves me that much. I am His child and no amount of time or distance will keep me from Him.

In the same way, my husband loves me despite me, and because of who I am. He loves me no matter what I do or what I say. He is always there with open arms, ready to forgive me. I don't deserve his love, any more than I deserve HIS love. And yet he willingly made the commitment to love me, and stay with me.

My husband loves me so much. I am daily reminded of this. Through his love for me, I am reminded constantly of God's love for me.

The Truth About Abortion

I am not normally an opinionated person, other than when I am talking to my fiance, my parents and siblings, and a couple close friends. However, I am finding that, over time, that is changing. I have found myself in impassioned discusions with coworkers, or even customers. I feel that I have been silent about what I beleive far too long and that I simply cannot remain so any longer. I pray that this continues, and taht God makes me increasingly bold.

One of the things that I feel most strongly about is the subject of abortion. Now, I realize that this has not been mentioned much during this election. But it is something that I feel we must talk about much more than we do. These babies, little people, have no voice, no say in what happens to them. It's time someone speaks for them.

There are many web sites, causes, videos, etc. devoted to this subject. Here are just the two that I have seen this week:

- http://www.abort73.com/

This site has a video showing babies that have been aborted after just a few weeks. They have little hands, feet, skeletons, faces, and are very clearly full formed human beings. It is very hard to watch, but something that I think more people need to see. There are also stories about and testimonials from people who have had abortions.

- http://www.durarealidad.com/

This video shows older babies being aborted, as well as the result of the abortion. I realize that many of you have already seen it. My fiance and I watched a few evenings ago. It was the worst thing I have ever seen in my life. I didn't make it through the whole thing - I had to stop watching. And afterwords, I sobbed as I have never sobbed after watching a video.

I fail to understand how so many people can say that abortion is NOT murder, and thus should not be illegal. How is killing a baby in the womb with sterile tools in a clinic any different than killing a person outside the womb with a gun or knife? Abortion is murder, and murder is a sin. It goes against God's commands. Abortion is never an option. Many people will say otherwise, particularly if having the baby could "be dangerous to the mother" (which is very rare with today's technology), or if the baby is the result of rape (it is not the babie's fault).

I realize that many will disagree with me, but, having been convicted over the past week, I strongly felt that I needed to write this. I don't know who will actually read it, but I must do as God prompts. I pray that you will read this, go to the sites, and that you will consider the information they present.

STOP WHINING!!! YOU'RE GIVING ME A HEADACHE!!!

I realized today just how negative I tend to be. I'm currently going to school full time, and working a lot of hours in a very short period of time. All this makes me very tired and brings out my "inner whiner:"

"I'm tired!"

"I want a life!"

"I really hate my life right now!"

"When is this going to end?"

"We're going to have how many people gone next week?! How am I going to make it?!"

I have been going on like this since school started. And then I was super convicted about my attitude. The reality is, my life could be way worse: I could be not only going to school full time, but having to work more than one job. I could also be going from school to work, or vice versa, rather than never working the same day I have class. I could be having to take out massive loans just to survive, or worse, not able to go to school at all, which would mean no graduating this semester. The list goes on and on.

So, I should be looking at it like this: I have a job. It is more than enough to pay the bills. (Yeah, I had to use my savings to pay for half of school, but I will be able to build that up again.) I was also able to get all the classes that I need in order to graduate this term - that has never happened. It is only for a few months. As for a lot of people being gone next week, I've worked harder shifts at other jobs (i.e. at Disney). I will be crazy tired, but I will survive. I will be crazy tired all semester, but it will come to an end, and I will be able to move on with my life.

I just need to "count my blessings" and stop whining.

I LIKE MORNINGS. WAIT, DID I JUST SAY THAT? THAT CAN'T BE RIGHT!

It happens to the best of us. We start out life hating mornings, disliking greatly the fact that there are days when we have to get out of bed before noon. That there are days when we must, in fact be out of the house -gasp- early, sometimes even before the sun is up. Eventually, we learn to do it without complaining- outwardly. We just go along with the flow, do what we have to do to keep the peace. We might even learn to (somewhat) tolerate all the "good mornings" said in bright, perky voices by smiling faces as we pick up our morning coffee (the only reason we tolerate them). But we still don't like it. In fact, we just plain hate the whole thing.

And then it happens:

You wake out of restful sleep, wide-awake, happy, and ready to conquer the world. Then you look at the clock- and start to cry. It's only 6 o'clock in the morning! What's happening! This is not supposed to happen! EVER! You tightly close your eyes, praying that you will go back to sleep. You don't have to be up until 7! Surely you can go back to sleep! But, no. The alarm clock rings- and you're still wide awake. Now grumpy, you get up, get your coffee, and stomp off to the bathroom to get ready. Tomorrow will be different.

This pattern continues for awhile. Each day is easier than the one before. Eventually, you start noticing more and more things, like the way the birds sing, all the colors in the sky as the sun rises, and the fact that it's great to have your coffee outside on summer mornings. And then one day, you realize, Yes, you do like mornings.

BUT I LIKE BEING IN CONTROL!!!

Have you ever noticed that one thing no human being likes to do is to wait- for anything? We get impatient, and then strike out on our own to accomplish whatever it is we "can't" wait for. And then... we find out that perhaps it would have been better for us to wait in the first place.

God does want us to wait in life. He wants us to develope a deeper trust and reliance on Him. We must wait on His timing, for His timing is perfect. He knows whether on not something is good for us, and when the right time for us to have it is. This goes for anything in life: a job, money, a car, a house, a boyfriend/girlfriend, a husband/wife, etc. Those things are not neccessarily bad, they just might not be good for us- maybe now, maybe ever.

I frequently try to take over the situation, and you know what I found out? Every time I do, I end up making a mess of it- and then become depressed and miserable. Every time. You'd think I'd learn. But I'm like a child- I want my way, and my way alone. I have this strange idea that I know what's best for me. I forget that the only one who really knows what's best for me is my heavenly Father.

I was recently doing it again, trying to control everything. And I was confronted. And convicted. And had to spend some serious time with God. And He showed me this passage;

"O God, you are my God;
I earnestly search for you.
My soul thirsts for you;
my whole body longs for you
in this parched and weary land
where there is no water.
I have seen you in your sanctuary
and gazed upon your power and glory.
Your unfailing love is better than life itself;
how I praise you!
I will praise you as long as I live,
lifting up my hands to you in prayer.
You satisfy me more than the richest feast.
I will praise you with songs of joy.

I lie awake thinking of you,
meditating on you through the night.
Because you are my helper,
I sing for joy in the shadow of your wings.
I cling to you;
your strong right hand holds me securely."

-Psalm 63:1-8 (NLT)

I had let everything else take over, become more important than Him. All He was asking was for me to turn over the reigns, to let Him handle it all, to lean on Him, trusting Him to do His will. He desire to do His will, which is perfect. I just simply have to let go.

It all comes down to this: who/what is my greatest desire? Whom/what do I thirst for? Who/what holds me? On whom/what do I depend on? Is it God? Or is it a person/thing?

Ask God to show you who's in control of your life. If it's not Him, surrender it all to Him. Trust me, it's not worth the pain and agony of trying to control it on your own.

"But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well." -Matthew 6:33 (NLT)

THAT'S NOT THE WAY I ROLL- BUT I GUESS I NEED TO LEARN TO

I realized today just how impatient I tend to be with other people and situations that arise in life.

I've always been irritated easily- not a very godly trait. But it seems like there is always something that annoys me. Whether it's the annoying customer that just babels or the one that takes forever to make up their mind and then asks stupid questions, or the drivers that stops just in time to not cross at the red light- and does so in the pedestrian lane so that I have to wait for another light to cross, there's always something or someone irritating.

I woke up late this morning, only to find out that the complex had shut the water off. This meant no shower, no coffee (I had to reheat some and use what little bottled water I had for the rest), and no cooking (I had cereal). I was frustrated and immediately went to the office to find out what was going on. The managers said to give it until 11 am, and it should be on again. I did. By 12:15, it was still not on. So, I went to the office again, and was told that they didn't know when it was going to be on again, there was an emergency that required turning the water off, and that it would be on as soon as possible. I was upset, but was nice- outwardly. When I got back to my apartment, I realized something- the managers were in no way at fault. It was the responsibility of the people fixing the problem to have the water back on as soon as possible. And when I left the office, I saw the stick that they use to turn the water off and on in the hole- and no one was around working on it. I became upset once more.

And then I knew that I was wasting my time and energy on something that, in the long run, really didn't matter. Yeah, it was annoying to not be able to shower, or cook food, but at least I had food, and a way to sponge off. There are so many people that would be grateful for just that. I had a nice, warm shower yesterday, have cereal and bread in the fridge, and a warm bed to sleep in, with a roof over my head. Another important revelation: people in general are impatient. This is why they stop in the pedestrian lane (they think they can make it across, then realize that they can't), cut people off, or almost run me over. They are impatient and rude because it is all about them and their needs. They are self-centered, self-focused, selfish. What a sad way to live!

It's like God was saying, "Do you really want to be like them? For that is not what I desire from you. You are to be different, set apart from this world for me. You are to be an example of the way that things are supposed to be, not the way things are."

"Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect." - Romans 12:2 (NLT) (emphasis added)

"You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled by men. You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven." -Matthew 5:13-16 (NLT)

So, the next time you or I become impatient or upset, remember that God has set us apart for His work, and He desires us to be like Him.

Well, If That Really Makes You Feel Better...

Have you ever noticed how hard some people are to get along with? They seem to always be upset, grumpy, or just plain angry about something all the time. And then there are the ones who are always complaining about something. You know, the ones who are never happy, no matter what they get, and who make you want to pull out your hair? Then there are the ones who watch you over your shoulder to make sure you are doing things the right way.

Being in customer service, I have had to deal with these people more than once. (Frankly, more than I sometimes consider fair.) And honestly, more than once I have expressed my great relief that they are gone- both to myself, and out-loud. And then I may poke fun at them, or gripe about them, sometimes for hours. Which is a natural human reaction.

But then I realized something; is that they way Jesus would act? Would He be impatient with them (even if it was inward, not outward)? Would He gripe and complain about them? Would He make fun of them? The answer: N-O!! Instead, He would love them, and reach out to them. (A novel idea, indeed.)

I was really convicted and prayed about my attitude, asking Him to change me.

There was one customer who had especially been giving me problems. He comes every day, and orders the same thing. And he was never happy about it- it was never right. It got to the point where I would shake when I was serving him. I prayed about this specific situation and asked God to help me show this impossible man His love.

The next day, he came in, and I was nervous as usual. I prayed for God's strength. He came to the register, and instead of shaking, I SMILED at him, being very pleasant. Then I did something I had not yet done- I got his name. Which made him smile. And then as I was serving him, I explained the whole process as I went along, explaining why I did certain things. I finally gave him his order, and he tried it- and got a BIG smile on his face. He said that it was wonderful, the best he had had yet!

As it turns out, he was just lonely. He's an elderly gentleman, who is no longer married, and just needs someone to talk to him, and take an interest in him, even if it's just for a few minutes. I don't know if I'll ever be able to share the Gospel with him, but I have a new friend. It amazing what happens when you do what God commands and just love people!

One of These Days I'll Remember I Have This Thing...


Or maybe not. But I'll sure try! (Besides, it sounds really good.)

Anyway, obviously it's been a while (say three months at least), and I really am going to try to keep it updated.

Ha!

It's Been Awhile...

But then, ya'll know that. I was just so busy this summer that I didn't hardly have any time to update. I worked alot harder than I was expecting! But, I'm back now, so we'll see how I am about fitting this in between my normal life. I'd like to say that the posts will be regular now that I have more time, but really, it's me! What more can you expect?

If Silence is Golden, Then What is Noise?

Living with 4-5 roommates (it depends on how many are home, and whether or not they bring someone home to spend the night) is far from quiet. There's always someone coming and going- at all hours of the day or night sometimes- and people coming to visit and play games, and, well, you get the picture. Then there's my complex, which is really like a college dorm, with the parties, shouting, and people getting drunk and screaming and boomboxes playing way past midnight. (Just as though nobody has to go to bed.) And working at a major resort I am constantly surrounded by noise and commotion. There's always someone talking, people asking questions, children screaming or crying because they've been up too late too many night, an occational little persom running through the food court and screaming just because they can, and music constanly playing in the background. (As if the people ambiance isn't enough, we get to listen to the same four jazz songs over and over again. That or two or three much over-done Disney songs.) I am continuously surrounded by people talking to me, needing my full attention, and, after awhile, I start to feel overwhelmed.

So naturally, when I finally get a moment alone, I take full advantage of it. I will either listen to music (of my choice and volume), read a book, watch TV or a movie (well, at least I would until one of my roommates sent her TV home with some friends, and the only other one that had a TV sold it), or catch up on my sleep. (I discovered that when I'm really tired, I can sleep really heavy, and, even if I'm sleeping in the living on the sofa, nothing interupts my sleep and wakes me- at least, not for more than a minute or two.) More importantly, when I'm alone, I can finally read my Bible and pray without interruption.

As y'all know, I am naturally quiet, and am not a person who enjoys loud noise, particularly not for extended periods. I much prefer going home after work and propping my legs up, fixing myself a cup of tea, and surfing the internet, reading, watching TV (at a normal volume), etc. If I'm going to hang out with someone, I would rather not do something loud. We can play games and shout because we're winning or losing, but I don't want to listen to rock music past a certain hour, or have a loud party. Don't get me wrong, I love hanging out with my friends, I just don't like LOUD.

I can't wait to get home and have, at the most one roommate, who, hopefully, is not loud, doesn't party, and doesn't bring friends home to spend the night without asking. (It's not so much that part that gets to me; it's when that friend spends the night in my room- especially when that friend is a boyfriend.) Plus, I'll be able to have at least one cat (cats are quiet!). And, most of all, to be able have a little more me time.

Time Sure Does Fly When You're Having Fun!

I can't believe it's already been almost four months since I left! People told me that it was going to pass quickly, and it really has.

So, what have I learned? Well, I've learned alot about dealing with people- all kinds of people, from all over the world. I've learned how to talk to people, how not to deal with people, and how to work past lanquage barriers. I've learned that I can push myself alot further than I ever thought; physically, mentally, and emotionally. I've also learned that getting up early in the morning five days a week and going to work is not such a bad deal as I thought. In fact, it's a good thing. (The human body can only stand a mixed up schedule so long before crashing. And then you sleep for two days- and then start all over again.) I've also become alot more independent, so look out world! I am extremely used to doing my own thing now, and I love living on my own!

I have no place to live when I get home, but I know that God has a plan. He provided the money for my ticket home, and has provided extra hours at work so that I can actually save money for when I get back. He's brought me this far, and I know that He's not going to let me hang. He's given me the strength to get this far, and He'll continue to do so!

The Sign Says CLOSED. What Don't You Understand About That?

Have you ever noticed that when we are determined to go somewhere, we're not going to let anything stop us? It doesn't matter where, or what time it is; we're going to get in to wherever that is.

Picture this:

-It's 10:00 pm and you've suddenly decided that you just have to go to the library. Never mind that the last time you went to the library at that hour, it was closed. All you care about is that you're bored with all your books and want something new to read. Ditto on your movies. You want something new to watch tomorrow night (or at least new to you) and you don't want to have to pay for either one. So, you drive all the way to the library, only to discover that, guess what? IT'S CLOSED. Then you go on to the next one... and the next one... and the next one. And, yup, they're ALL CLOSED. And you get mad, and rant and rave about how stupid they are for being closed. But, as there's nothing you can do about it, you just go home.

Or how about this one:

-You're still awake at 3:30 am. You can't sleep, and you have to be at work at 8:00, so why bother to go to sleep anyway. You settle down in front of the TV to watch whatever happens to be on- even if it happens to be the latest info-mercial for vacuum cleaners. Just as you settle down in your recliner, it hits you. Why not get a head start on your caffeine intake for the day? How are you going to do that? Well, you could make some, but, really, why? Afterall, you don't have very much left, and the coffee maker is still dirty, and you would have to clean it, and fill it with water, and get a filter and put it in the coffee, and... it's just way to complicated for you to deal with right now. You ponder for a minute, and.. Aha! You've got it! Your favorite coffee place has the perfect early morning pick-me-up; and it's just down the street. Plus, there are more locations around town. You're all excited, and can already taste your coffee. You drive perhaps a little faster than you should, but, you do want to get there, afterall. And, when you get out of the car and walk to the door, you see the sign that says "closed" and "we'll be back at 6:00 am". And.. well, you know what happens next.

There are so many more instances and senarios I could talk about, but I think you get the picture. Suffice to say, we live in an I-want-what-I-want-and-I-want-it-now culture, and we aren't going to let anything stand in our way.

Except perhaps for those pesky "closed" signs.

An "It's a Small World" Mentality in a Big, Grown-up World
or "I Don't Wanna Grow Up" (But Maybe I Have No Choice)

As a child, I always thought that, when I became an adult, I was still going to do the same things I did then, with the added bonuses of having a car and driving, getting married and having kids, all while continuing to depend on my parents for everything. (Naturally, I didn't consult my parents on the last part- I just assumed that it would be OK with them.) I wasn't going to change- I was just going to get older and taller, with no reponsibitlities to worry about.

Of course, over the years, that mentality has changed- quite a bit. As I've grown up, I realize just how much responsibilty there is in actually being an adult. You have things to do: working, paying the bills, laundry, cleaning, grocery shopping, etc. And you can no longer act like a child. Plus, there's all the emotional stuff that we, as adults, must deal with: life, death, relationships, life's little ups and downs, knowing who we are and what we want. It's a big world out there, with a lot of problems and challenges! And, unlike a child, we can't go hiding behind Mommy or Daddy, knowing that they're going to save us.

So what do we do about it? Well, honestly, most of us have one of two reactions: we either whine about our "lot in life", wondering why it can't be any easier, or we freak out and shut down. (I've always been the freak out kind.) Very few of us always do what we should do in the first place, and that is to go to God.

When we do go to God, the whole world seems so much brighter, and, while it's not easier, it's better and we know that we can bear anything that happens. We learn that it's not what life throws at us, but how we react to it that matters. And it's all by the grace of God that He is patient enough with is to be there and help us learn that lesson- or series of lessons, if needed. Eventually, if we follow the Father, we discover that the world really isn't as big as it seems, not where God is concerned. He's way bigger than anything we could go through, and there's nothing He can't handle! If we let him, He'll get us throught it all, and take us on an amazing journey while we're at it. He's the one that will help us grow up- the way that He desires.

We also learn that there is much wisdom in a cheezy Disney song. Come on everybody, sing along!

"It's a world of laughter, a world of tears,
It's a world of hopes and a world of fears.
There's so much that we share,
that it's time we're aware
It's a small world after all!
It's a small world afterall!
It's a small world afterall!
It's a small world afterall!
It's a small, small world!"

"Earning My Ears"

That's what the ribbon on my Disney nametag said. I wore it until I was done with my training- and I ended training officially last Thursday. (I wore the ribbon until last night.)

So, how's it going? Well, the work is still hard, that I know what I'm doing (for the most part), it's gotten better. And I'm starting to make friends at work. In fact, I spent Tuesday morning at Epcot with four of them.

I'm still working long hours for the most part, and am having a hard time getting a couple of days off (they keep saying that my request has been "denied"- and that's a month in advance). However, I understand that the labor office is not giving anyone time off right now (besides their one day off). I have a manager that usually tries to work things out for us though.

All I can say is; those ears- they'd better be big ones.

The Pollyanna Mentality

Working for Disney is just what it sounds- working for Disney. The work is very hard and tiring; at times, just plain exhausting. For Disney expects perfection. They have exthremely high standards, that, at times, seem absolutely inpossible to live up to.

I admit, I have been very discouraged lately, and there have been days that I just felt like I could not go on any further; days that I just wanted to quit the program and come home early. I've had a couple of really bad days, and some really long days. I've even cried a couple of times.

However, I am trying something very radical- being thankful for everything. I have made it my goal to find at least one thing to be grateful about every day, whether I'm going to work, or resting at home, or playing in one of the parks, or doing my laundry, or shopping. No matter what it is that I am doing, I have to find one thing to be thankful about. I tried it today, and, you know what? My day went alot better! And I took the whole thing one step further- anytime I stared to grumble about my job, I thanked God for something.

A friend told me that that was a very "Pollyanna-like" way of thinking.

I know it's not always going to be easy. But, if i sit down and think about it, the list of things I have to be thankful for is relly wuite long: I have a job that pays me what I need to live right now, a roof over my head, family, friends, food, clothes, and more. Most importantly, I have a Father in heaven who loves me, and forgives me, and is always there for me.

How could I really complain when I have all that?

I know it's been awhile, but, y'all would not believe how busy I've been the past two and a half weeks. WDW really works their employees! However, I'm going to try to keep y'all updated. (Notice I said try.

BTW, the whole "getting-up-at-the-same-time" thing is not working right now. I work five days a week, and work different hours every day, with my schedule changing weekly. Many days the past two weeks, I've gotten up earlier than 6:15 (try two days of getting up at 3:30 in order to be at work at five, and two or three days of getting up at 4:30).

Great, so the one time I actually get excited about getting up on time (well, as excited as I'll ever be about getting up early), my work schedule changes. Figures.

It'll Get Easier... I Hope.

I'm now on day 12 of getting up at the same time each day. So, how's it going? Well, so far, I've only slept late one morning. (And by late, I mean until 6:47.) I don't really have a good reason for doing so other than the fact that I was really tired and my alarm didn't go off. But, I've managed to make it up by 6:30 every other morning. I've also discovered that my body usually wakes up on it's own about 6:00 now- a whole 15 minutes earlier than I'm supposed to.

The nice thing is, I am able to get far more done during the day than I used to. For example, I'm packed for my trip (except for the neccessary things I'm using right now- like my hairbrush and toothbrush), and everything is cleaned- I'm pretty much ready to go.

However, the tempation to go back to bed is still extremely high. I don't want to get out of a nice warm bed, and I'm generally very tired (I don't always sleep at night). As soon as he alarm goes off, I find mself wanting to go back to sleep.

Plus, I still don't like mornings. The verdict is still out as to whether or not that will change.

Early Morning Riser?

I really hate early mornings. But, then you already knew that. However, I realize that it's going to take while to brain-wash (Did I just say that? I meant convince) people to see things my way. Thus, I made a decision. In order to lesson the stress in my life (thus becoming a more sane- and agreeable- person), and always be where I need to be on time, I really need to be getting up on time. Which, for me, is 6:15am. (The pain! The horror!) And, it needs to be at the same time every day, including Saturday and Sunday. (This is supposed to help get your body accustomed to waking up at the same time, thus allowing you to wake up naturally.)

A friend and I are trying something: for the next 30 days- which started this past Sunday- we are going to get up at exactly the same time every day. (Yup! Saturday and Sunday included.) We may go back to sleep on the weekends (although, if we get enough sleep, just a nap later in the day would be good), but we have to be up at least an hour (hopefully longer). And by up, I mean, not just sitting up in bed, but actually up and doing something. Whether catching up on chores, reading (something like the Bible), or doing something else.

So, how's it going for both of us? I have successfully made it up on time all but one day (I fell back asleep Tuesday morning and slept until almost 6:45), and he has made it up every day (he even managed to stay up until 10:30 on Sunday!). Is it hard? Well, I can't speak for him, but for me, yeah, it's really hard. I hate mornings anyway, and seeing them even earlier is not something I particularly enjoy- I would much rather sleep until the last possible moment, since I know that, if I hurry, it only takes 20 minutes for me to get ready. And, I'm really going to miss sleeping in on the weekends (a nap doesn't count for sleeping in). However, I am getting alot more done in my day, and I am no longer rushed or stressed.

We'll see how I feel after 30 days. Especially since I'll be moving to (F.) for 5 months, and they're 2 hours ahead of us!

Mornings!

I was sitting at the table the other morning, drinking my coffee, trying hard to wake up. For those of you who know me well, you know that I am not a morning person at all. So getting up before 7:00 am is really hard. Some mornings, I think it's going to kill me. (Actually, make that most mornings!) Other mornings, I'm just sure it has.

I don't understand those people who actally enjoy getting up early. I mean, here I am , just trying to wake up, and they're bright-eyed and (horror!) smiling. And they greet you with a disgustingly cheerful "Good morning!"

Yeah. Like I know whether it's good or not. I'm not even awake yet. For all I know, it's really a lousy morning, and they're just lying to me. (That, or they've been completely brain-washed.)

What do I do when greeted with "Good morning!"? Well, I do what we've all been trained to do our whole lives- I smile (I can fake a smile really well), and reply "Good morning!", my voice dripping with false cheerfulness. And then I go on my way, muttering to myself, rubbing my eyes, and drinking my cup of coffee.

We start work at 8:00- because, afterall, why not? We have our meetings are at 8:30- because we can. Thus, we have to get up before 7:00 (that's before sunrise in the winter, people!), or even before 6:00 (Yikes! That's even worse!), just to have time to shower, get dressed, get in the car, and get to work. And that's not even allowing time for breakfast (if you can even eat breakfast at that hour!). Or for the women, time to do hair and makeup.

If you're like me, you (try to) set out your stuff every night for the day before. Then you set the alarm with every intention of getting up on time- and then sleep through it most of the time. So, then you're rushed, and stressed and grumpy before you even get out of the door. As if mornings aren't already bad enough! And you still have the whole day to go!

My question is, why start the day so early? I mean, really. Why do it? Maybe it's because we've been brain-washed. Or maybe it's just a habit we've all gotton into- a bad habit, but a habit none the less. Perhaps we just simply don't know any better.

So, what should we do about it? Well, I think it's time we all rebelled, and fight the system! That's right- refuse to do what we've always done! Let's start work at 10:00, rather than 8:00. And have out meetings at 10:30, intead of 8:30. And let's have breakfast around 1o:30 or 11:00, to allow our stomachs (a much ignored and neglected organ of our body) time to wake up. And let's work until 6:00, and no later.

It will take awhile to change the pattern, but I think it's possible. We just simply have to re-train people. And we may very well end up using a few classic brain-washing tactics.